Sunday, October 3, 2010

Enough Is Enough

Dear Garden,

Please stop producing tomatoes. Just in case you haven't checked your calendar, it is the third of October. You are breaking a strict garden commandment, and I hope you pay the severest penalty possible tonight. In case you have lost your garden bible along with your calendar let me spell those consequences out for you. F-R-O-S-T.

We have eaten tomatoes in salads, side dishes, main dishes and straight off the vine. Repeatedly. I have canned tomatoes, canned more tomatoes, and, no surprise here, as this is being written I am waiting for yet another batch of tomatoes to come out of the canner. For the past week not one person in this family has made eye contact with the ever-present bowl of cherry tomatoes sitting on the counter. It reminds me of meetings I have attended where a request for a volunteer for some particularly hideous job is put forward. All eyes instantly detach from the speaker and fixate on more urgent and important things like the ear on their neighbor's head or the design on the carpet. The fear that a mere glance at the speaker will be mistaken for a raised hand is universal among those who want to maintain their invisibility. So it goes with our bowl of tomatoes. It is as if by even glancing their way they will somehow be transported into our mouths, mouths whose taste buds are suffering from severe tomato fatigue.

I also want to publicly apologize for having had such bad thoughts about the customs guy who confiscated my tomatoes at the border back in July. You are welcome to come take as many tomatoes as you want. In fact, I would be so happy to see you show up to relieve me of this burden I might even make you a cup of tea just to show there are no hard feelings.

4 comments:

  1. Kristie, thanks for the comment. AND....green tomato mincemeat. Vegetarian... Google it - thank me later.

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  2. Ahhhhh!!! When I saw this post in my reader, my first thought was, "Where are the boys from Customs when you need them?" Before reading that at the end, I was laughing about the no eye-contact with the cherry tomatoes. I wish I lived close enough to help with the problem. Wow, I think I just wished I was Canadian--because we know I couldn't sneak tomatoes into the States. =)

    I needed a good laugh, thank you!

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  3. Sounds like the zucchini curse! I can't eat tomatoes, but Shan's suggestion sounds like a good one.

    Thanks for stopping by the blog.

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  4. Thank you Kristie! Fortunately we do have a great relationship with my brother's kids--my wife is their favorite aunt and we do lots of things with them--taking them with us to museums, monuments, hiking, etc. My brother doesn't enjoy those things.

    That brother has always been trouble--and hot-headed. Thanks to him teachers were always wary of me the first few weeks of a new school year. LOL! But our oldest brother is the most gentle person you could imagine--he's 6 years older than I am. It's interesting how different the three of us are, but I guess that's not so unusual in big families. I also have 3 older sisters.

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for a frost tonight! =)

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