Friday, July 15, 2011

Kitchen Fail

In the interests of full disclosure I have a confession. Not every effort in the Hammond kitchen goes as planned. For instance, over Father's Day weekend when we had a house full of kids and kids-in-law there was An Incident. On Sunday afternoon we decided to go out to the BC Wildlife Park. Planning ahead I made some spaghetti sauce and put it in the slow cooker. That way dinner would be ready as soon as we got home. Great plan. Except for one small detail.

When we got back and I looked at the slow cooker I could not believe it. The on/off light was flashing. Somehow, in my rush to get out the door, I had forgotten to turn the thing on. This meant the contents had sat at room temperature for almost four hours. If the sauce had been meatless I might have taken the chance that it would be okay, but remember - I am totally paranoid when it comes to potential pathogens. After consulting with a GP and an infectious disease specialist it was agreed the spaghetti sauce was toast. (Normally I wouldn't have gone as far as asking for medical advice, but when the doctors happen to be standing next to you in the kitchen it doesn't hurt to get their input!) It was a sad moment as I poured enough spaghetti sauce to feed a dozen people into the kitchen garbage. I will spare you any pictures.

The next fail was leading up to Canada Day. I had asked Alexandra if she could make a batch of Canada Day cupcakes. (In case you are wondering, Canada Day cupcakes can loosely be defined as any cupcake baked in a red and white cupcake holder.)

The first sign of trouble was when she looked at me and asked if she had put in 2 or 3 cups of flour. I suggested she dump out the flour and start again if she wasn't sure. She shrugged her shoulders and said she was pretty sure it had been 3. Then, horrified by the amount of sugar the recipe called for she decided to cut back on this rather vital cake ingredient. As you will see by the pictures there was also likely a baking powder/soda blunder.

We tried multiple rescue attempts. These volcano-like things were the best we could do.

Clearly this batter did not want to be cupcakes, so we dumped the remainder in a cake pan and thought it would be cake. It didn't want to be that either. This is what happened when I touched the top to see if it was done. We had moved from volcano to earthquake.

Whatever it was, it all got eaten. Which is further proof for my theory that there is no such thing as a failed dessert.


  1. Hehe this made me giggle (not in a rude way)

    The last picture looks cool. :]

  2. Oh dear! And it refused to become brownies as well. Only thing to do is eat 'em....assuming they're edible.

  3. I am always heartened to see others with my failings. I once had a houseful of dinner guests and dropped the glass lid onto the edge of the chili pot, where it shattered into the chili. We had lots of cornbread and cheese, though.

  4. @London's-beauty - I am glad you got a laugh out of our fiasco. We laughed a lot that day too!

    @Vanessa - They managed to get eaten, but not by me. Even the fact they were chocolate wasn't enough to attract me.

    @Mary Lou - Oh no! Why does stuff like that tend to happen when we have guests? It is the "company curse." :-)

  5. This really surprises me. I knew your kitchen had been the site of the occasional miscue, but I thought they were only due to equipment failures. Maybe the slow cooker needs a new switch??? As for the cupcakes: 1) Alexandra looks so happy making them, it doesn't matter how they turned out; and 2) the interesting appearance of the various desserts is much more fun than a standard cupcake.

  6. My mother would never accept these as a kitchen fail, she'd say it was experimental cooking ... she does a lot of, um, experimental cooking, though I don't think she's managed volcano cakes yet ;)

  7. @Ric - You are very kind, but I am afraid what the slow cooker needs is an owner with a brain. :-)

    @Annie - I like your mom's name for it. It sounds a lot more promising than calling it a fail!

  8. PS - Is it ever awkward having a "pair-a-docs" in the family??? =)