Friday, November 23, 2012

Fergus Friday Guest Post

This is Jenny, the other dog in the Hammond house. I have been asked to write this guest post supposedly because Fergus's person thought it would be nice to give me some blog exposure for a change instead of her own dog. I am a very bright little dog, and she doesn't fool me for a second. She is getting tired of blogging every day and has run out of things to write about. Still, being a typical dachshund, I don't want to turn down any opportunity for attention so here goes.

I am a gentle, quiet, mostly well-behaved canine. Actually, I was perfect until Fergus entered our lives. A little bit of his badness may have rubbed off on me. The thing is, he is stupid and bad. I'm sneaky and bad. For instance, if you are going to chew up something that belongs to your person either eat the whole thing or hide it under something. Don't sit there with the destroyed object right beside you. You look like a ninny.




And this is no way to get your paws on some human food. It's way too obvious!




Here's a tip from a pro. You sit in your human's lap while they are watching TV and pretend to be asleep. Then, just as they raise their arm to shove some food in their face you quickly snatch a bite, then run away as fast as you can. The TV remote does not have a dog or food retrieval button on it, so there is very little chance the human will do anything other than say some words. The words might be bad but you don't care because you don't speak English.

Sometimes I admit I am a little envious of Fergus and the fact he is an Internet star. But I am special too, and I have proof. For instance, Fergus's person knit me my own sweater. She could never knit one of these for Fergus because he is so silly he would eat the thing right off his own back.




And today, because she knows I hate the cold and winter is just around the corner, she bought me this beautiful new coat. Fergus likes the cold, so he doesn't get one.




Mostly I like Fergus's person. She is nice to me and likes to scratch my ears, so I try to not be jealous of all the attention she gives to her dog. Besides, deep down I know that I am really the most famous dog in this house. Here's my picture on this bottle of wine.




Not that I'm vain, but how about a close-up?




In spite of his many shortcomings, I have to admit I quite like Fergus. And I really don't mind him getting so much of his human's attention, or the fan comments from all of you who read her blog just as long as you remember this one thing. I'm the Top Dog in the Hammond house.



27 comments:

  1. Kristie, this was hilarious! I laughed out loud 3 or 4 times. :) What a treat.

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    1. I'm glad I made you laugh, Lori. I think you are in need of a few laughs lately. :-)

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  2. Three cheers for Jenny! Hip hip hooray!

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    1. Maybe I will even let her do another guest post. She is quite an articulate little dog. :-)

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  3. awwwww I love Jenny she is so well spoken and adorable...almost as adorable as fergus but just in a sneakier get into your heart way...

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    1. Thanks Karen! Dachshunds are known for being sneaky. :-)

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  4. Ha ha! Jenny should definitely do more guest posts! Sounds like she is the brains behind that duo. I love her sweater...very cute :)

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    1. Yep, she's the brains and Fergus is the brawn. :-)

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    1. I think so too. She has a sweet personality to go along with her adorableness. :-)

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  6. I think Jenny is adorable too, we have had 2 daschunds in the past I would say they are braver and smarter than westies! Hope the bottle of wine tasted as good as the name and the illustration.
    Sarah x

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    1. I hate to admit it, but you are probably right about dachshunds being braver and smarter than Westies. Just don't tell Fergus I said so. :-)

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    1. Thanks Kate! Isn't Jenny sweet in her little jacket? (My oldest son thinks it's a disgrace.)

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  8. Dachshunds are ALWAYS top dog, Jenny! Ask me how I know. . .

    -- stashdragon

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  9. You've got a nice wardrobe, Jenny. Very stylish! You've got a lot to share with Fergus--if he ever calms down.

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    1. NIce, but expensive. I would be embarrassed to tell you what I paid for that doggie jacket! :-)

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  10. Having six Doxies of my own, I say "Hurray for Jenny!"

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    1. I forgot you had that many dachshunds. There must never be a dull moment at your house!

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    2. Never...and just to keep things diverse, my husband just got an African Grey Parrot...

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  11. Too funny! She looks so sweet in her little sweater and coat!

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  13. Jenny in my experience a dachshund is always top dog, except possibly when it lives with a super intelligent whippet, as mine do, poor lambs, they need your pity.

    By the way, the pinching food thing ... the reason the people do nothing is that they don't want it back after it's been in your mouth ... just thought that fact might come in handy ;)

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  14. My guess is your whippets keep your dachshund in line. Fergus, on the other hand, just looks like a goof next to Jenny. And yes, I'm sure the fact nobody wants to eat food polluted by the dog is part of jenny's strategy. :-)

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  15. This is pretty funny. Seems like Jenny is maybe the smarter of the two!

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