Sunday, May 26, 2013

Worry Soup, a Recipe

From my home to yours, a recipe you don't want to make any time soon.

Worry Soup

Ingredients:

Chaos
Uncertainty
Stamina
wine
chocolate

Method:

Chaos is a key ingredient in Worry Soup. A cluttered house contributes to a cluttered mind, and a cluttered mind will add a whole new dimension to any worry one might already be harbouring. My suggestion is to start sorting through your walls of bookshelves the minute you get an offer on your house. There is no need to be methodical or orderly. After all, the people have already looked at your house, so there's no longer any need to keep things tidy. More mess equals better soup.

Uncertainty is another important ingredient. To make the best possible Worry Soup you need quality uncertainty. Don't settle for something as mundane as not knowing what the weather is going to be like tomorrow. You need a big worry. Something along the lines of knowing the buyers need to remove their subject to sale and home inspection clauses, and not hearing a word from the realtor about setting up the necessary home inspection appointment. To make your Worry Soup more flavourful, be sure to add several days of this uncertainty to the pot.

Even the best chefs have made the mistake of thinking they didn't need an ingredient, only to find that in the end it was not only needed, but absolutely essential to the final outcome. This is where stamina comes in. Thinking I was past the "having to clean the house to perfection" phase, it never crossed my mind I would have to clean it one more time. My Worry Soup seemed to be quite tasty already, and I would have been happy to leave stamina out of the pot entirely. That was, until our realtor finally phoned about that house inspection we had been waiting to hear about. Apparently the buyers are doing the house inspection themselves rather than hiring a professional, which means they will be coming back. (Insert bad words here.) Too late, I realize I might have added a bit more chaos than I should have.

Seasonings can make all the difference when cooking, and Worry Soup is no exception. It is important to use a dash of wine. Repeat until the bottle is empty. Also, pinches of chocolate on a regular basis are essential. A word of caution here! When making Worry Soup the seasonings do not go into the soup pot. They are best consumed directly by the cook.

Let the soup simmer slowly, knitting often to keep the worries from boiling over.


EZ's Baby Surprise Jacket, Finley Fingering, colorway: Delphinium


27 comments:

  1. Oh boy, sorry you are cooking that. I suggest a soupçon more chocolate.

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    1. More chocolate is always a good idea. :-)

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  2. It doesn't help much, though its true, but "this too shall pass."

    Coming out the other side of this process is going too feel sooooooo good!

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    1. You are right. It is going to feel great to have this move behind us. I am looking forward to that day!

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  3. I wish you were cooking something more soothing. Hang in there. :)

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    1. I certainly wouldn't want to dine on this soup very often. I think it could cause an ulcer. :-)

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  4. I've heard over and over that making that soup is a waste of energy. But when I have the ingredients, I end up making a batch of it anyway. I hope having amateur inspectors doesn't cause any unnecessary grief.

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    1. Sorry to hear you make this soup too. :-(

      Unless there is that dead body buried under the foundation that I don't know about, I don't think they will find anything wrong with our house. My worry, thus the extra large batch of soup, is that they will come back and, on having a closer look at our house, will look at each other and say, "what on earth were we thinking of when we said we would buy this house?"

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  5. I've never heard of buyers doing their own inspection......wishing you all the best.....hang in there. Pass the chocolate please...

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    1. Yes, please pass the chocolate. :-)

      They might be doing their own inspection because inspectors have received a lot of bad press here in BC. The worst story was last year when an inspector didn't even bother to do a visual inspection for mould on a house in Vancouver. The buyer ended up having to spend tens of thousands of dollars to fix the problem, and there was absolutely no way to hold the house inspector liable for a penny of it.

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  6. Having sold a house just a few years ago, I feel your pain. But when you've consumed enough of the wine and chocolate, I'm sure you're able to appreciate the excitement of it all... :-)

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    1. Hmmm...I think that amount of wine would have me passed out under the table, and that amount of chocolate would see me tipping the scales around 500 pounds. :-)

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  7. Hahaha, what a brilliant post.... it did make me smile, though poor you, it is very unsettling moving home.
    Its a bit like labour, you forget the pain as soon a have your new baby in your arms...
    good luck!!

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    1. I love your analogy to labour! It is so very true. :-)

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  8. That is NOT a recipe you want to keep cooking for long! i hope you can let the pot off the boil very soon and that the result will taste just as you want it.

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    1. You're right. I don't want to be simmering in this soup for much longer. It is definitely not healthy!

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  9. Oh dear. I hope you can start boiling up a batch of 'All's well' soup soon, I find that tastes much better :)

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    1. I love that - All's Well Soup! Yes, that sounds much tastier than Worry Soup. :-)

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  10. Sorry to hear about the worry soup. I'll mix up a batch of "Whatever Will Be Will Be" Soup for you, ok? Things will work out and memories of this time in your life will fade before you know it. Breathe slowly and deeply...

    And now I've got that darn song stuck in my head...Que sera, sera...LOL

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    1. I think I will pass on the "Whatever Will Be Will Be" soup for fear I might get that song stuck in my head, too. Ha!

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  11. Huh... self-inspection, eh? That's...odd. Still, I hope things go-off without a hitch. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

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    1. It is sort of odd, but they are probably doing it because there have been so many negative stories about home inspectors here in BC. I appreciate the crossed fingers and toes. :-)

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  12. Was hoping to come over here and see it all "done and dusted"! Nothing worse than waiting. You missed a soup ingredient though - "Humour". You still have that in tact :-) Crossing my fingers too. Mel x

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    1. You are right - I totally forgot to add in humour! No wonder the soup doesn't taste very good. :-)

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  13. I will follow your advice and not follow this recipe! I hope all the uncertainly will soon be over.
    Sarah x

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    1. It's guaranteed to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Avoid if at all possible! :-)

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